It’s inevitable. No matter where you are in life there will always be that one person who exists only to make your life a living hell, as they say. Unfortunately for me, I spend the majority of my waking hours with this person. It hasn’t always been this way. When I first started at this job two years ago this person was my ally, my confidant, my friend. She was the only person I trusted because we bonded over a shared understanding of the “office politics”. Suddenly things have taken a turn for the worst. But I thought high school ended after…well, high school. Turns out I was wrong. Suddenly being in with the cool kids has become more important than sticking by the one who had your back when you weren’t so cool. It wouldn’t bother me if she was the social butterfly type, wanting to get along with everyone, but this doesn’t seem to be the case. She’s completely turned her back on me, left me out in the cold, only to come running back when she needs something or when she has found another reason to put me down.
After careful consideration of the changes that have been taking place recently there is only one conclusion I can come to: Jealousy over my recent successes. Don’t take this as me being conceited, (only recently have I found the courage to recognize and accept my success) but over the past few months I have gained a life that many only dream of. I have a successful career in Public Relations that is taking off, I have begun working in Communications for an important political leader, and I have recently launched my own Advertising and Public Relations business; I have been volunteering for a number or organizations very dear to my heart; I have found the love of my life and have never been happier, and; I have given every aspect of my life a happy and healthy overhaul!
Not too bad for a 26 year-old… But in my attempts to share with her anything positive happening in my life, I am quickly cut off. Interrupted. Or just completely ignored. This is not normal behavior. So I have concluded that I am leading a life she once, or still does, long for. And with that acknowledgement, I refuse to allow her actions to continue to cause me pain and anxiety. I have realized that all she’s ever going to be is mean. And I have better things to do.
You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me
You have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like I’m nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out when I’m wounded
You, pickin’ on the weaker man
Well, you can take me down with just one single blow
But you don’t know what you don’t know
Someday I’ll be living in a big old city
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean
Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
You, with your switching sides and your walk-by lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don’t already see them
I’ll walk with my head down trying to block you out ’cause I’ll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again
I’ll bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold
But the cycle ends right now ’cause you can’t lead me down that road
And you don’t know what you don’t know
Someday I’ll be living in a big old city
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean
Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
And I can see you years from now in a bar, talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion but nobody’s listening
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can’t sing
But all you are is mean
All you are is mean and a liar and pathetic and alone in life
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean
But someday I’ll be living in a big old city
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean, yeah
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean
Jostentaylor's Blog 
One Response to “All You’re Ever Gonna Be is Mean”