This is not your Year – This is your Life!

I’m not really one for New Year’s Resolutions. In my past attempts I’ve learned that setting these specific goals has never really gotten me anywhere. After giving it my all in the beginning, the excitement quickly wears off within a few weeks and I’m back to my old habits. But I have a feeling this year will be much different 😉

Last night I spoke with two of my best girlfriends and we got onto the topic of 2011 being our year! The year we are going to take more initiative and make things happen. A few minutes into the conversation I realized that many of the things I want for myself in 2011 are already happening. Because I’m making them happen. And I’m making them happen because I am ready for them, not because 2011 is just around the corner.

Together, we decided to create a list of what we want in our life. Not specific to 2011, but specific to our lives in general. What is lacking in your life? What do you want to achieve, accomplish, gain, or even lose? I challenge you to create a life list! And I challenge you to do it when you are ready, not when January 1 rolls around.

My list:

• Work toward being a more genuinely happy person
• Continue to be successful in my volunteer work with the Yellowknife Community Foundation and the SPCA
• Introduce more volunteer opportunities to my life
• Obtain my business license (the process has begun!)
• Spend more time writing and posting to my blog
• Finalize my original screenplay and direct and produce it
• Attend film festivals
• Do more networking in and out of town
• Spend a week in LA on my own relaxing, writing, reading, enjoying coffee, discovering
• Take my mom to New York! Spend an afternoon lounging on the grass in Central Park with a coffee and a good book!
• Go to New York with my girlfriends to watch the tree light up, drink hot chocolate and go skating
• Enter a contest to win a Bravo Award for my work in Public Relations
• Pick up my acoustic and brave the public
• Start painting again and showing my work  in shows
• Lead a healthier and more mindful lifestyle

And the list goes on! It will change and it will grow, as does life. But it is my life and I am going to make it what I want it to be. And you should too. 2011 doesn’t need to be the year for change. When you are ready, the changes will naturally come, as they have for me. This is not your Year – this is your Life. Make it what you want it to be.

And for those who need some musical inspiration…get ready to be Extraordinary!

Holding On to Your Dreams…? Mission Possible!

Are you a big dreamer? Do you have goals that are out of this world and seem nearly impossible to achieve? I’m a big dreamer, and as a girl from the small town of Yellowknife, NT, it can be difficult to visualize myself leaving this small, unknown, unheard of, in the middle of nowhere place to achieve my life and career aspirations. It also doesn’t help when people look at you like you’re crazy when you tell them your plans and how you’re going to get what you want. But us big dreamers are not alone. And no matter what anyone tells you, I am telling you, and myself, not to give up. Those who put our dreams down are not worth our time or energy. We only have one life to live so we have to live it for us.

 

But for those who are letting others put their dreams down, making them seem impossible and not worth trying, remember these famous and historical people who were once thought of as failures who would never amount to anything, and see how far they came.

 

Henry Ford: While Ford is today known for his innovative assembly line and American-made cars, he wasn’t an instant success. In fact, his early businesses failed and left him broke five time before he founded the successful Ford Motor Company.

 

Socrates: You may not know who he was or what he did, but you have heard this name. Despite leaving no written records behind, Socrates is regarded as one of the greatest philosophers of the Classical era. Because of his new ideas, in his own time he was called “an immoral corrupter of youth” and was sentenced to death. Socrates didn’t let this stop him and kept right on, teaching up until he was forced to poison himself.

 

Oprah Winfrey: Most people know Oprah as one of the most iconic faces on TV as well as one of the richest and most successful women in the world. Oprah faced a hard road to get to that position, however, enduring a rough and often abusive childhood as well as numerous career setbacks including being fired from her job as a television reporter because she was “unfit for tv.”

 

Lucille Ball: During her career, Ball had thirteen Emmy nominations and four wins, also earning the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Kennedy Center Honors. Before starring in I Love Lucy, Ball was widely regarded as a failed actress and a B movie star. Even her drama instructors didn’t feel she could make it, telling her to try another profession. She, of course, proved them all wrong.

 

J.K. Rowling: Rowling may be rolling in a lot of Harry Potter dough today, but before she published the series of novels she was nearly penniless, severely depressed, divorced, trying to raise a child on her own while attending school and writing a novel. Rowling went from depending on welfare to survive to being one of the richest women in the world in a span of only five years through her hard work and determination.

 

The Beatles: Few people can deny the lasting power of this super group, still popular with listeners around the world today. Yet when they were just starting out, a recording company told them no. The were told “we don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out,” two things the rest of the world couldn’t have disagreed with more.

It seems that on more than one occasion these people were rejected and relentlessly discouraged from following their dreams. but in their hearts, they knew they had something to offer the world. And though some of them are gone, their legacy lives on. Years later, their names are still in our minds and their work still very much apparent today. So don’t give up, because your dreams are your mission. And your mission is possible. If that’s not enough to get you through, find something else that you can use on a daily basis to give you the strength and motivation to continue your journey. My suggestion…a song of course! Below you can take a listen to the one that works for me. It’s not the first time I’ve posted it and it certainly won’t be the last.

KT Tunstall – Suddenly I See

credit: http://www.onlinecollege.org

Seven Ways to Boost Your Social Circle

Volunteer

Find something that truly matters to you, that you are more than happy to do without remuneration. For me, it’s the well-being of animals, and human rights issues. These are two passions that I intend to get involved in to the extreme. And while my goal is to make a difference for these animals and people, if I make a friend or two out of it that will be great too! And volunteering on an emotional level may lead to a different kind of friendship. A stronger relationship, because what you are doing together is not strictly for your enjoyment, but for the well-being of a living thing or issue.

Join a Club

Many of the friends I have today, I’ve met through clubs that I have joined. It is difficult these days to not find a club that caters to even the most unique passions. Whether it be sports clubs such as soccer, yoga, or kickboxing; arts clubs like photography, theatre, or a book club, which involves striking of a variety of conversations, tones, and honest feelings and opinions. Find a club that ignites you and meet people to share that with.

Attend Events

Many organizations hold events so check your local listings and see what’s going on in your town. Whether it’s an art show, open mic night, fundraisers, or a festival, find something that you are interested in and attend a like-event. This way you will not only meet people, but you will meet people who share the same interests and passions as you. Who would turn down the opportunity to make a friend with whom you have a common enthusiasm or motivation?

Network Online

Networking online has been one of the best things I have ever done, and I’m so thankful to my teacher who introduced me to the variety networking opportunities that are out there. I have connected with so many people all over the world, and even met one of my best friends, Kali, online. She approached me online before coming to the town I was living in at the time. When she arrived I met her at a restaurant with some of my friends. And even though that was the only time we’ve spent together in the same physical environment we’ve bonded well, and still speak at least once a week. Our friendship has grown strong and even though we have three provinces between us, our ability to connect online has kept our friendship alive for years. Networking online has also allowed me to connect with possible employers. I am able to keep track of companies and organizations I am interested in and seek out possible opportunities with them, while they can seek me out as well. This morning a company reached out to me because they were informed of my artistic talents, and asked me to get in touch with them regarding a position in their company. Social networking is becoming the centre of all communication. It can lead you in many directions and do great things for your personal, social, and work life. Whether it’s Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or other social networking sites, use these tools to your advantage. 

Network in the Office

Networking in the office can be intimidating depending on what kind of environment it is. Going into a new work environment where you don’t know anyone makes it easy to sit back and lay low, and keep thoughts and ideas to yourself. If you need to take your time getting comfortable thats fine. Start by smiling and saying hello. Then try striking up a general conversation. These can definitely be boring but conversations have a tendency to start on one topic and end at a completely different topic. Soon enough you have gained a friend. And this one conversation can help you let your guard down and gain comfort in your new surroundings, and make it easier for you to approach other colleagues. The better you get to know them in the workplace, the better your chances of spending time with them outside the workplace. Not long after, you will have a new social circle!

 Hit up your Local Coffee Shop

This is my favourite thing to do. In fact, I’m at a coffee shop right now 😉 Nearly every night I hit up my local coffee shop. It is my favourite way to relax, unwind, have “me” time, enjoy a cup of java, and meet new people. Coffee shops tend to have regulars, and every time I go I run into the same people. It doesn’t take long to become familiar with them and before you know it you are striking up a conversation and forming a friendship. Take my buddy Oscar, a musician I met at my coffee spot. Saturday night is Open Mic Night and people from all over town come to perform and enjoy local talent. When I heard him play his electric guitar I was amazed! I’ve never heard anyone play like that and I couldn’t keep my composure when he finished. The very next day I went to the same coffee shop for some lunch and a few minutes later he showed up. He came over to say hi and we ended up having lunch together and getting to know each other a little more, and as a newcomer to the music scene, he even offered to give me lessons. I often see him at the coffee shop, and around town, and still watch him perform. It has been a good connection and I know we will remain friends.

Have a Party

I’ve saved this for last because because it is a little bit different and something I definitely want to try! When you throw or attend a party, for the most part, it tends to be the same group of people who show up. Not that that is a bad thing, but here is a way to switch it up a bit and meet new people 😉 Invite all of your friends, but here is the catch: tell each person you invite to bring someone to the party that you don’t know. If you invite 10 people, and they each bring someone new, then there are 10 more people coming who you don’t know, but could potentially strike up a friendship with. And if you don’t know the people they bring, chances are you aren’t the only one. So not only are you setting yourself up for new relationships, but you are helping others network and connect with new people.

Get to Know Yourself

If you take the time to get to know me you will learn that I love lists and questionnaires. Personally, I find them to be a convenient and sometimes exciting way to learn about yourself and learn about how and what you think. A year ago I received this list of questions from a friend and filled it out. A year later, I’m seeing that many of my answers are different. While writing this I have decided that I fill this out every year and see which answers stay the same and which change. I expect the time will allow me to learn more and more about myself each year, and help direct me to where I need to go and what I need to do at each point in my life. If you haven’t asked yourself these questions, I think today is a great day to start asking! They have the ability to help you grow 🙂

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

17

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never trying

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

Because we are scared.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

A few months ago I would have said. But with the changes I am making now I hope to turn that around.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

I would love to change the world so that everyone genuinely cared about everyone else. If everyone cared this world would be completely different.

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

There are a lot of things that make me happy: everything under the umbrella of public relations (writing, designing, researching), taking care of people, being a mentor.

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

I am starting to do what I believe in. I was going to settle for something that could make me happy, but I’ve realized that my dreams are far too important to let them go and I now understand that I will not be happy without them, or at least trying to succeed at them.

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I would do things that scare me, take more chances, trust more, be happy, let love in.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? 

I have controlled the majority of life. Things that are out of my control, I learn to work with so I can have more control.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

This is a tough one. I am always concerned about doing what I think is right, even if it is not what will make me happy. But I would like to find a happy medium so that I can be happy as well. It’s not the most difficult question but it’s not the easiest to wrap your head around when trying to come up with an answer.

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?

If it is not justified I tend to keep my thoughts to myself but if it gets bad then I would say that I don’t want to be a part of the conversation. If it is, I tend to justify my friends position.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Everything has a way of working out so don’t lose hope or be discouraged.

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Absolutely.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

Yes, in myself.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

Think.

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Because everyone has a different perception and experience.

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?

I have not yet sat on the grass in Central Park, reading a book and drinking a coffee, but I intend to do it before I die.

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

I am holding on to many things I need to let go of. Isn’t everyone?

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

I would move to New York because I love the pace, the atmosphere, the attitude, and the idea that I can be alone, but not feel alone ever.

Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

Yes I do, but I know it won’t go any faster. It’s just a habit. 

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

A joyful simpleton- simple doesn’t mean that you’re not smart or clever, I think it means that you are more smart and clever.

Why are you, you?

Because of my family, friends and experiences.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

I think so. 

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

They both suck, but I think it is worse when you lose touch with someone near you. My sister lives 10 minutes away from me and I haven’t seen her in 10 months.

What are you most grateful for?

I am most grateful for my family, friends, and the opportunities I have been given.

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

I would hate to lose my old memories, they make me who I am and inspire me to be who and what I want to be. But I would hate to not be able to make new memories. I can’t give an answer on this one.

Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

Maybe. 

Has your greatest fear ever come true?

No, but it very well could. 

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?

I remember one tragic event that still matters, but the petty things…absolutely not. Even if I did remember them they don’t compare and I don’t remember them.

What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?

Spending the summers at the lake with my family and friends. It was special because everyone was there, everyone was happy, healthy and energized. 

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

Being at school until two in the morning editing my documentary. It reminded me of long coffee-filled nights and early morning working at the paper, being in charge, being responsible, being needed, being BUSY. While I have been out of school for a year now, that is the last time I felt extremely passionate, but I’m working on getting back to that place now.

If not now, then when?

When I have money.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

I have nothing to lose, I just happen to have a plan that could make it easier for me to achieve what I want.

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

Yes. Though I never realized it at the time, I realize it now and would give anything to go back to that moment.

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

People feel that its necessary in order to keep love. I think people are scared and think they need to be extreme to get their point across. For all I know, maybe they do.

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

Some things, yes.

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

Absolutely not.

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

More work I enjoy doing.

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

Unfortunately, yes, which is not a good thing because today has not been one of my better days. 

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

A couple of months ago. I went with the overpowering feeling I had in my heart and in my mind to pack up my life and move somewhere that would make my dreams a possibility, instead of just a dream. 

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

I would want to bring everyone I know together and celebrate.

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

Absolutely not.

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Being alive is being there, truly living is experiencing life, following your dreams and doing what makes you happy.

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

When you realize that you are calculating, or when you realize that what you are calculating is something you don’t want to risk losing.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Maybe we think that if we learn from mistakes we should learn not to fail.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I would be more alive, follow all of my passions, be a little more out there, not be embarrassed by things I enjoy and that make me happy.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

I don’t know.

What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I love school, working, family, friends. I’ve expressed this by letting people know and making choices and changes that will help make my dreams and my loves come true.

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?

So far nothing major or memorable has happened, so no I probably won’t. 

Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

A little bit of both. I’ve made the decision to follow my career dreams which makes me and my family happy. But there there are some people and situations that are clouding my choices. I am, however, working on clearing up my vision.

Small Source of Inspiration

For as long as I can remember, I’ve known exactly what I wanted to do with my life and mapped out exactly how I would get there. Short version: college for two years, university for one year, work for two years to pay off my loans and save enough money to move to NYC and start my career. Having this plan kept me motivated and got me through many times where I easily could have just given up. 

 

Once I started college I felt refreshed, excited, motivated, and I knew that I belonged. I thrived on the long hours, strenuous assignments, countless days of volunteering, deadlines, and overall stress. But there does come a time when, while as much as you love being absorbed in your work and studies, the motivation begins to dwindle. I didn’t reach this point until my second year of college. Overall, I was still enthusiastic to take on the amount of work I had the previous year and, in fact, took on more. But I needed another source of inspiration to get me through. Many people use affirmations or quotes, or mentors and people they aspire to be like to keep them on track. In my life, music has gotten me through every obstacle so I chose a song: Suddenly I See, by K.T. Tunstall. 

 

The first time I heard this song it didn’t make an impact on me or even stick with me for that matter. But then I heard it at a point when I needed to hear it. It realized that it was the perfect song to keep me motivated. With lines like: “Everything around her is a silver pool of light, people who surround her feel the benefit of it”, “She’s taller than most” and “She makes me feel like I could be a tower” it quickly became my theme song. I made the choice to listen to it every night before bed to keep positive thoughts in my mind and every morning while I got ready to remind me of why I was there and keep me motivated for the day. I contribute much of my success to this song because it kept me inspired and empowered when I needed it most. To this day, though I don’t listen to it at the capacity I did before, I listen to it whenever I need a boost and it puts me back in the frame of mind I need to be in. 

 

Do you have a song, affirmation, quote, or person that inspires and empowers you through the day? If not, maybe this is just what you need!

Take a listen ↓

Suddenly I See – K.T. Tunstall